Hotel Breakfast Is All About The Eggs
The less you have to worry about when traveling the better. You don’t need to waste your time worrying about the little things like will the hotel have a blow dryer? Did I pack that little sexy black dress? Will the hotel have good breakfast? Eating breakfast at the hotel is always convenient plus it helps save you some money so you can splurge a bit on a fancy dinner with that bottle of wine you would never order in your hometown, but lets be honest, a good hotel breakfast is all about the eggs.
There are three categories of hotel breakfasts. The “Really, you call this breakfast?” the “I guess this will do.” and of course, the “Holy shit this is awesome!” Most hotels underestimate the value of the breakfast they serve. And while a comfy bed is nice, a good breakfast might make us chose one hotel over another.
“Now you’re full of fear, do I have a tampon? How could I forget it’s THAT time? Don’t worry, it’s not you… it’s the eggs.”
The Egg Theory:
In my experience, the quality of a hotel can easily be measured by how good, or bad, their eggs at breakfast are. You never want to find yourself in a hotel that uses instant egg mix that tastes like it is shape shifting back into its native form of powder the second it touches your tongue. If this is the case, then I can almost guarantee that every other aspect of the hotel will have the same half ass effort all around. On the other side of the spectrum, if your hotel has the best eggs you’ve ever had, you know the ones you would get on Christmas morning as a kid when the family pulled out all the stops just to make this day better than all the other days of the year, then congratulations, you’re probably staying in a 5 star quality hotel who appreciate their guests and know that they deserve a great start to their day.
Category 1: “Really you call this breakfast?”
This is mainly your budget hotels, hostels, or hotels that should be called hostels. You know the ones that leave you your sheets semi folded at the end of the bed (yes, you have to put them on the bed yourself) and who call themselves “eco” which usually translates to cold showers and dirty towels. Hotels that fit into this category typically just throw you a granola bar and point to a tin of instant coffee in the corner and call it a day. By pure definition of The Egg Theory, they fail. If they don’t even have eggs you can expect the quality of everything else to, well, just plain suck.
Category 2: “I guess this will do.”
Now, here you have your average hotels, in fact most hotels fit into this category. These are the ones that have a hot breakfast but of course it is in the form of a lazy buffet with that huge pot of old oatmeal boiling and burning leaving the room with a stench similar to what you would expect a hoarders house to smell like. And the pot is so large because they’re hoping you’ll just fill up on oatmeal so they don’t have to buy as much of the “good stuff”. In a place like this you’ll find a casserole dish of scrambled eggs. Jackpot! Wait… don’t get too excited. The problem with scrambled eggs is that they always look good, but don’t be fooled. You may be a savvy traveler so you only take a little spoonful, that way you don’t have to try and eat them all. Oh, and there is a bonus… bacon! Be sure to grab a lot of that heavenly greasy bacon to chase the eggs with. Trust me you’ll need it. You take a bite of the eggs and yep, it’s what you expected, pasty, powdery, watery filth. Bet you’re glad you have that bacon now.
Although these are the eggs most hotels have, it’s decent enough to choke down. I mean breakfast is the most important meal of the day right? So at this point, since you’ve most likely paid for this excuse for a meal, you have to fill yourself up for the adventurous day you’re about to have. The worst part about the “I guess this will do” type of hotel breakfasts is not getting it down, but how you’ll feel later. Ladies, you all know the bone bending, stomach turning feeling when you have your special monthly gift right? You know the feeling that makes you want to stay in bed all day loathing in self-pity and agony? Somehow it’s not even that time of the month and you start to feel the cramps creeping in just as you finally got into the museum of modern art after standing in line for just over an hour. Now you’re full of fear, do I have a tampon? How could I forget it’s THAT time? Don’t worry, it’s not you… it’s the eggs.
Category 3: “Holy shit this is awesome!”
When you go to your favorite breakfast spot and order the Two Egg Special you are always given the most perfect fluffy, just the right shade of yellow scrambled eggs and that is the way it should be. Plus, you even get to choose how you want your eggs cooked. I personally always go for sunny side up, but who am I to judge your preference. What a concept! You get to choose and someone will actually take the delicate time to make those perfect eggs without breaking the yolk, not an easy task I may add. If you find a hotel with a breakfast that lets you choose how you want your eggs then you my friend have found the third category of hotel breakfasts, the “Holy shit this is awesome!”
It’s not often you find a hotel that has a breakfast chef on call, just waiting to ask you what you want. Sometimes they will even have an omelet station with an array of options such as mushrooms, onions, cheese (pfft… jackpot), tomatoes, and little perfect bits of ham. You know a hotel cares about you when they realize that everyone is unique and no two people really like their eggs the exact same way because we are people. We are imperfect, opinionated, and like what we like., especially good eggs for breakfast.
The world is a crazy, hectic, disorganized place and in all honestly, we’re too busy living our lives to worry about breakfast, especially when traveling right? And while most travelers are busy planning their day sightseeing and exploring a new place, how our day starts matters. So whether you are flying from Africa to Europe or taking a bus from Laos to Cambodia all that really matters are the eggs.
Marina Dominguez is the co-founder of Latitude 34 Travel Blog as well as a photographer and documentary film maker.
As a maturing women, Marina has dedicated her life to travel and new experiences. After working a 9-5 cubical lifestyle, Marina sold everything she owned, left her job and begun a new life with her boyfriend and travel companion, Jeff Johns. Together they relocated to Phuket, Thailand and founded Latitude 34 in which they seek to share their alternative lifestyle with the world.
Marina is a Visual Journalism graduate of Brooks Institute of Photography where she studied photography, videography and ultimately caught the travel bug. Through creating several international documentaries, Marina realized there was more to the world than work and wanted something more.